Stop Negative Self-Talk: How to Reduce Anxiety With Positive Thinking

Spring is just around the corner. The warmer weather may have you thinking about positive change, so take the change of season as an opportunity to do a spring cleaning, not only of your home but also of your mind.

Start by changing up your negative thoughts and inner monologue (otherwise known as your “self-talk”). The more positive your thoughts are, the less stress and anxiety you’ll feel, coupled with various other health benefits.

What is Positive Thinking?

Positive thinking is all about having an optimistic outlook. It means focusing on the positive and approaching anything negative with a productive attitude. Positive thinking is not ignoring the bad things in life but tackling them head-on.

The Difference Between Positive Thinking and Negative Thinking

Positivity and negativity are more complicated than you might think. It goes much deeper than simply bad thoughts and good thoughts. It’s about attitude, outlook on life, and how you approach what happens to you in life.

Positive or Optimistic Thinking

If you are generally a positive person, you are optimistic. Your view on bad events or situations is that they are temporary and not your fault.

When good things happen, you give yourself credit for your situation. When bad things happen, you recognize that they won’t last forever and that things can get good again.

Negative or Pessimistic Thinking

A pessimist has a very different view of bad situations. They blame themselves, even if it is outside of their control. They also expect bad things to happen to them and assume they will last or keep recurring.

When good things happen, a pessimistic person tends not to give themselves credit for it. They feel that good situations are random and temporary and will inevitably give way to bad events again.

A negative outlook on life is damaging. It can lead to depression, difficulties in relationships, and a harmful need for perfectionism. Being negative limits your ability to perform or achieve because it limits your thinking.

Are Positive Emotions Always Good and Negative Emotions Bad?

To feel negative emotions is to be human. No one ever experiences only positive emotions. It is impossible. This isn’t a bad thing.

While a positive outlook or mindset can be beneficial in many ways, it’s not always appropriate. When the bad stuff happens, it’s natural to feel angry, frustrated, sad, or scared.

It is beneficial to feel bad sometimes. It helps you recognize negative situations as harmful or in need of change. Uncomfortable emotions tell us something

For instance, your anger at being passed over for a job promotion indicates that a new role is important to you. It tells you that you can work harder to achieve what matters to you, moving up in your career.

How is Positive Thinking Different from Toxic Positivity

Being optimistic or having a generally positive mindset is overwhelmingly good for you, but it’s possible to have too much of a good thing. Toxic positivity is when you deny natural negative feelings.

Doing so isn’t healthy. For example, if your friend has been diagnosed with cancer, they shouldn’t feel pressured to feel relentlessly positive about beating it. They can and should let themselves go through all the natural emotions, including being angry and scared.

Toxic positivity is damaging. It shames people who are simply experiencing natural emotions. It can make you feel guilty about bad and harm your mental health. Relentless positivity is an avoidance tactic. It can lead you to ignore your problems, which never get fixed.

How to Recognize Negative Thoughts

Positive thinking skills begin with actively listening to your self-talk. Everyone engages in self-talk. Self-talk is the stream of thoughts going through your head throughout the day that you don’t necessarily say out loud.

The Nature of Self-Talk

Self-talk can be positive thoughts, but it can also be negative or neutral. It may be based on logic and reality or on misperceptions and emotions.

Negative words are usually directed within, at yourself. Thinking positive isn’t always easy, but it is usually more productive.

What Does Negative Self-Talk Look Like?

Negative self-talk is personal, but there are also some commonalities:

Personalizing situations when, in reality, they are out of your control

A common type of negative thinking is to blame yourself for anything bad that happens to you. Yes, some decisions bring bad things to you, but in many cases, there is no logical reason that you carry the blame.

Focusing on the negative while ignoring the positive

This is also known as filtering. You pay attention to negative situations and events. These negative phrases minimize or discount all the good things that happen to you.

Finding the worst-case scenario

Negative thinkers often catastrophize. If you do this, you take a bad situation that is relatively minor and turn it into something much bigger. You tend always to imagine and expect the worst to happen in any given situation.

Assuming other people think the worst of you

You cannot read minds, but many negative thinkers make harmful assumptions. You tend to assume someone is thinking negatively about you without any evidence.

Thinking in black and white

Negative thoughts leave little room for a gray area. You might tell yourself you’re an idiot or stupid if you make a mistake. A positive thinker would have a more nuanced reaction to a mistake. They might think the mistake was stupid, but they do not extend that description to themselves.

Making should statements

Should statements are a type of guilt. I should have done this, or I should have done that. They shame you for making what you consider to be the wrong decision in a given situation. These thoughts are unfair and unkind because making perfect decisions at the moment isn’t easy.

The Importance of Self-Talk Awareness

The first step towards changing negative thoughts and self-talk is recognizing them. This takes practice but isn’t too difficult. You just need to become aware of your regular thoughts as they arise.

Pay attention to how you talk to yourself and consider whether these thoughts are based on facts or are negative responses derived from emotion. Try to notice your thoughts through a curious lens and without judgment.

For example, you make a mistake at work that delays the completion of a project. If your immediate thought is, “I’m such a failure, and I’m terrible at this job,” you’re engaging in negative, emotion-based self-talk.

More positive emotions and productive thoughts might be, “I could have managed my time better on this project or followed instructions more closely.”

In the latter example, you do not deny the reality of your mistake, but you aren’t being overly critical either. You focus on facts, which will help encourage productivity and problem-solving.

How Positive Thinking Improves Health

The above example shows how damaging negative thinking can be. How likely are you to improve your work if you speak to yourself hyper-critically?

Negative self-talk is incredibly damaging. It increases stress and anxiety levels and can stop you from accomplishing goals. The good news is that positive thoughts have the opposite effect.

Benefits of Positive Thinking for Mental Health

Positive self-talk can be much more motivating and improve your mental health in several ways:

Boost Mood and Battle Depression

Most importantly, positive thoughts boost your mood. Always approaching life from a pessimistic outlook naturally leads to a lower mood. If you consciously try to turn those thoughts around, you can be happier and have fewer signs of depression.

Reduce Stress and Anxiety

More positive thinking can also reduce your stress levels. Even if you don’t cut any stress out of your life, positive thoughts help you cope better with it. Positivity also makes you feel less anxious because you see the good in your situation and believe in your ability to make changes.

Develop Resiliency

Facing stress with positivity builds resiliency. You are better equipped to deal with stress and even trauma if you tend to approach life with a positive attitude. Positivity helps you bounce back from difficult situations.

Improve Creativity

A big part of positive thinking and self-talk is problem-solving. Negative self-talk is defeatist. It represents giving up. Positivity includes creative thinking to change your situation or solve your problem.

The Benefits of Positive Thinking for Physical Health

It’s no surprise that positive thinking improves your mental health, but did you know it can also boost your physical health?

Mental and physical health are inextricably linked. When you improve mental health with positive thinking skills, you also improve some aspects of physical health:

• Reduced pain
• Improved tolerance of pain
• Boosted immunity
• Improved cardiovascular health
• Reduced risk of death from cancer and some other illnesses

Take These Crucial Steps to Change Negative Self-Talk

To get a boost from healthy positivity, it’s important to start with negativity. Humans tend to be hard on themselves, but you can change this.

Old habits die hard, but with persistence and practice, you can change the negative voice in your head and reap the benefits of positive thinking. Take these steps to make positive changes:

Be Aware

Awareness is the first step. You can begin to make changes only when you are truly aware of what your inner voice is saying. Many people let their minds wander and talk without being critical of what they’re saying. It takes practice to become more aware.

Start listening to that inner voice. It might help to use a journal. Write down each negative thought as it crops up in your mind for some time. You will probably be surprised at how often this occurs and how hard you are on yourself.

Name the Voice

It helps to consider your inner critic as another person. Give it a name, like Negative Nelly, so you can separate negative thoughts from productive ones.

You can engage with it more rationally when the negative voice isn’t your own. We are generally less tolerant of someone else saying bad things about us.

Challenge Your Thoughts

When you have a negative thought, challenge it. Ask questions. Dig a little deeper and consider whether the thought is rational. Negative self-talk tends to be highly emotional. You are responding with feelings rather than with logical thought.

Try to step outside your feelings. Change your perspective and consider what others would say to you in any given situation. Would you respond this way to a friend? Or would you speak more kindly to them?

This task is easier if you say the negative thought out loud. It starts to sound ridiculous when spoken aloud. This makes it easier to challenge and change the thought.

Reframe Your Thoughts

Once you’ve challenged the negative thought, actively reframe it. After you have determined that your thought isn’t very rational or isn’t as kind as you would be to a friend, shift the perspective.

Instead of saying, “I can’t do this; it’s too hard,” say, “I’ll break this down into smaller, easier tasks to get it done.” Your inner voice can make all the difference.

Keep in mind that reframing doesn’t have to be overly positive or positive at all. More important is to be rational, realistic, and neutral.

How to Increase Positive Thinking

Another way to stop negative self-talk is to build more positive thinking, self-talk, and attitude. Combat your inner Negative Nelly by thinking positively. Here’s how to bring more positive self-talk into your life.

Actively Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is being thankful for the good things and moments in your life. It does not mean discounting or ignoring the bad. It’s more of a shift in focus.

When you regularly express gratitude, you will start to feel happier. Positive thinking can be difficult if you’re used to negative self-talk, but gratitude is something small and concrete you can focus on to practice.

Keep a gratitude journal. Write down a few things every night that you are thankful for. Even on a bad day, you should be able to pinpoint at least one positive thing.

Wake Up with Positive Affirmations

Start each day with the right attitude by repeating one or more positive mantras. For example, you might say, ‘It’s going to be a good day.’

You can even use a meditation focused on positivity to set the tone for the day and help you be more receptive to positive experiences all day.

Spend More Time with Positive People

Who you spend time with matters. Humans are social beings, and we influence each other all the time. Spending more time with negative people will rub off on you.

The opposite is also true. Hang around more with the people in your life with positive attitudes, who engage in positive activities, and who are not cynical or mean-spirited.

Find the Humor in Life

Laughter is the best medicine, as they say, and there is some truth. Simply smiling can boost your mood instantly, even when you don’t mean it.

For the most positive emotions in your life, find the humor. Spend more time watching comedies than tragedies. Enjoy a funny podcast or hang out with friends who laugh a lot. The more time you spend laughing, the more positive your outlook becomes.

Know When to Rely on Others

When things around you are really bad and finding the positive seems impossible, don’t fight it. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be recently positive in these moments when everything seems to be going wrong. That’s toxic positivity.

These are the moments when you can rely on the positive thinking of others. Turn to your trusted friends and family for support and positive thoughts.

Other Positive Thinking Strategies

Making the change from negative to positive self-talk is not easy. It takes time and practice. Be persistent and use all the tools at your disposal, including meditation.

Try adding in some daily mindfulness and positivity meditations with BetterSleep. These will help you become more self-aware and put you in the right frame of mind for shifting your attitude.

Meditations like Positive Vibrations, Increase Self-Belief, Gratitude Booster, Acceptance Practice, and many others help you ditch negative thoughts. Consider meditations like these to be training tools. The more you work with them, the easier it will be to engage in positive thinking.

BetterSleep is a great tool for improving sleep and boosting moods as well as positive thinking. Use it daily to train your brain and enjoy better mental health.